These Are The Daves I Know, I Know, These Are The Daves I Know

For those who like baseball and celebrities named David -- this is funny.

I Hate It When Baseball Makes Me Feel Like Billy Joel

I love baseball. My favorite team is the Atlanta Braves. I have been watching them for as long as I can remember. I loved them before they started winning everything this side of the Pulitzer in the early 90s. At the same time when they went from worst to first in 1991, I was only 13 years old. So, I don't really remember what it was like to watch them when they sucked. I don't think I really cared that they sucked back then, but now anytime they go into a minor slump I get mad. Right now the Braves are in more than just a minor slump. If they were in any other division besides the National League East, they would be in serious trouble. As it is, the Florida Marlins, who are in first place, are only five games over .500 and not playing all that well right now themselves. The Braves are playing a lot worse than they are right now, but that's not very comforting while watching them continuously leave runners on base. Tonight while playing the Cardinals they did more of the same, lost their third game in a row, and each time something goes wrong I just want to flip the table over ala Billy Joel in the "We Didn't Start the Fire" video. And for anyone who knows me, you can imagine how mad I must be when something actually makes me want to emulate Billy Joel. Ugghhh.

This Is What It Sounds Like When Ducks Die

My son, who's almost two years old, loves ducks and because he's incredibly spoiled he has had a ton of ducks given to him. There are rubber ducks, stuffed animal ducks, duck pajamas, you name it. About a year agao my parents bought him a platypus-looking duck that shakes and sings a little duck song when you press its stomach. Tonight while watching the Sopranos rerun from Sunday, this platypus-duck thing starts its song from the other room...where no one is anywhere near it. About half-way through the song it slowed down and just stopped. So, tonight another duck bites the dust.